Speed Breakers of Gurgaon

This article of mine was published in " The Hindu", a few months back. Hats off to all those people who survive in the concrete jungle called Gurgaon. In this millennium city there are highrises, plush and posh malls, numerous eateries, IT firms , business houses etc etc.all juxtaposing and gelling with a multitude who have scant regard for the rules. Every-time I travel on Grugaon's roads I have my heart in my mouth, not because I am not confident of my husband's expertise with the wheel, but the lack of the same with the other drivers around him. Cheers:)

Nandi, Gomatha and little Kafka, were walking in the middle of a busy road near Hamilton Court, Phase-IV, Gurgaon, when suddenly they saw cars and bikes screeching to a halt near them. Some avoided them and managed to meander past like race track drivers taking sharp bends. The trio swished their tails and mooed angrily in reply to this near death experience. They looked around to see if their other mates were safe, and heaved a sigh of relief when they found them shaken but unharmed. Little Kafka, started crying and said between hiccups, “I am so scared to cross this road everyday. Why can’t our owner take us in another direction where there is no traffic?”

Gomatha gathered Kafka close to her side, and replied,’ don’t worry Kafka, we will slowly cross the road”. As they were crossing, suddenly Nandi shouted, ‘Look out! There is a car coming to your left!’  Breaks squealed and the driver shouted rudely, ‘Bloody cows, why don’t you go and live in the fields instead of killing us on the roads”.

‘But, but…sputtered Gomatha, ‘It was your mistake! You came on the wrong side of the road, don’t you know that this is a one way?’

“Pah, who cares about one way in Gurgaon? I will drive on any road that I want to. Any way there is no police patrolling here. And let me tell you something else, when the traffic police do come out, it ends up in a traffic jam, he he he”, chortled the rude driver and drove away blaring his horn.

By now Kafka, already jolted by screeching horns and squealing tires was petrified and refused to move another inch. No amount of cajoling from Nandi and Gomatha had any impact on her. She sat down in the middle of the road and said, “I am going on a strike mom and dad, I cannot take this anymore, no body cares for us, our owner leaves us on the busy roads to find our way home, and there is no use complaining to the police”. The rest of the cows also followed suit and sat down on the busy thoroughfare which resulted in a massive traffic jam.

 Soon a delegation of government officials came to negotiate with the congregation of bovine infidels (so christened by the angry public). Kafka and her tribe had a bevy of complaints and refused to heed the officials till their demands were met. The officials had no other alternative, they feared the PETA. Kafka boldly donned the role of the leader and rattled of a list of cow woes. 

• “We are not respected, even though we are considered ‘holy’ by many people. Our owner makes us take this same perilous route every day causing harm to motorists and ourselves.
• We want the government to build a cow zone which will enable us to walk without fear.
• We want dedicated traffic police force who don’t stand by the side of the road with cell phones glued to their ears.
• We want to live in cleaner and more hygienic surroundings. Recently we had a family dinner in Mac Donald's, in Sector 29. A stink assailed us when we came out. We turned around and saw open drains with pigs wallowing in it. Yuck! And you call us dirty cows!”

Kafka breathed a long sigh, once she finished and said “we will not budge till you assure us that our demands will be fulfilled.”  After a heated discussion the officials decided to fulfill the demands of the bovines. The congregation then methodically and slowly moved in a line and cleared the road. Nandi and Gomatha proudly patted Kafka and said, “You have indeed brought a revolution. Only time will tell how successful we have been with our flash hartal. We know how crafty these officials are, so let’s be prepared to lead another andolan.”  Kafka laughed delightedly and marched along with her parents mooing this song:

“We are the speed breakers of Gurgaon,

Drive rashly and you will be gone,

We will come back on the roads to keep a check,

Double cross us and we will create a bottleneck”.